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My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:17 am
by ADL81
Hi All,

I’m a 37 year old guy who has suffered with Paruresis fir as long as I can remember. I guess it goes hand in hand with the Social Anxiety Disorder.

I’ve made some progress with the Paruresis recently, which is great although I have a long way to go. I use urinals most of the time now but only if no one else is using it. However I can not use a urinal in a quiet public toilet if anyone is in a stall either. Toilets with music are fine though.

The biggest problem is work. The toilets at work are very quiet and quite often there is always people in a cubicle, sitting very silently for long periods of time. I cannot even go in a stall in this instance. If the toilets are noisy and busy then I can urinate in the stall. It feels so crazy and complicated, and all this can change depending on my stress and anxiety levels! Before finding out about Paruresis online I felt like I was the only one who was like this.

Anyway, thanks for accepting my join request John and I hope to interact with you all on here!

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:46 am
by JohnW
Welcome to our Forum!
You will find great help in regular support work. I also recommend next year's weekend workshop.

JohnW

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 2:14 pm
by ADL81
JohnW wrote:
Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:46 am
Welcome to our Forum!
You will find great help in regular support work. I also recommend next year's weekend workshop.

JohnW
Thanks John. I’ll keep an eye out next year for the workshop when it is being organised.

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:10 pm
by Derek
ADL81 wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:17 am
Hi All,

I’m a 37 year old guy who has suffered with Paruresis fir as long as I can remember. I guess it goes hand in hand with the Social Anxiety Disorder.

I’ve made some progress with the Paruresis recently, which is great although I have a long way to go. I use urinals most of the time now but only if no one else is using it. However I can not use a urinal in a quiet public toilet if anyone is in a stall either. Toilets with music are fine though. I

The biggest problem is work. The toilets at work are very quiet and quite often there is always people in a cubicle, sitting very silently for long periods of time. I cannot even go in a stall in this instance. If the toilets are noisy and busy then I can urinate in the stall. It feels so crazy and complicated, and all this can change depending on my stress and anxiety levels! Before finding out about Paruresis online I felt like I was the only one who was like this.

Anyway, thanks for accepting my join request John and I hope to interact with you all on here!
I know what you mean about toilets with music in them, that does tend to help quite a lot.
Paruretics are sensitive to both the noise and visual exposure, which is why desensitisation has to look at both aspects, and is a gradual process in both areas.
Good luck with your progress and improvements.

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 5:34 pm
by ADL81
Derek wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:10 pm
ADL81 wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:17 am
Hi All,

I’m a 37 year old guy who has suffered with Paruresis fir as long as I can remember. I guess it goes hand in hand with the Social Anxiety Disorder.

I’ve made some progress with the Paruresis recently, which is great although I have a long way to go. I use urinals most of the time now but only if no one else is using it. However I can not use a urinal in a quiet public toilet if anyone is in a stall either. Toilets with music are fine though. I

The biggest problem is work. The toilets at work are very quiet and quite often there is always people in a cubicle, sitting very silently for long periods of time. I cannot even go in a stall in this instance. If the toilets are noisy and busy then I can urinate in the stall. It feels so crazy and complicated, and all this can change depending on my stress and anxiety levels! Before finding out about Paruresis online I felt like I was the only one who was like this.

Anyway, thanks for accepting my join request John and I hope to interact with you all on here!
I know what you mean about toilets with music in them, that does tend to help quite a lot.
Paruretics are sensitive to both the noise and visual exposure, which is why desensitisation has to look at both aspects, and is a gradual process in both areas.
Good luck with your progress and improvements.
Hi Derek, thanks for your reply! My main issue is definitely noise, or lack thereof in public toilets. Although I still can’t use the urinal when another is there but if I’ve already started and someone else comes in I’m fine.

How is your progress?

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 10:04 pm
by onlyafool123
I guess there are ways of relaxing. Either with medication, self talk as in what will happen if i don't go? nothing. Gradual exposure will lessen the anxiety of going. The other part is if a workmate knows youre in the cubicle not urinating what's the worst he could say? what are you doing in there.

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:10 am
by Derek
ADL81 wrote:
Thu Sep 06, 2018 5:34 pm
Derek wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:10 pm
ADL81 wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:17 am
Hi All,

I’m a 37 year old guy who has suffered with Paruresis fir as long as I can remember. I guess it goes hand in hand with the Social Anxiety Disorder.

I’ve made some progress with the Paruresis recently, which is great although I have a long way to go. I use urinals most of the time now but only if no one else is using it. However I can not use a urinal in a quiet public toilet if anyone is in a stall either. Toilets with music are fine though. I

The biggest problem is work. The toilets at work are very quiet and quite often there is always people in a cubicle, sitting very silently for long periods of time. I cannot even go in a stall in this instance. If the toilets are noisy and busy then I can urinate in the stall. It feels so crazy and complicated, and all this can change depending on my stress and anxiety levels! Before finding out about Paruresis online I felt like I was the only one who was like this.

Anyway, thanks for accepting my join request John and I hope to interact with you all on here!
I know what you mean about toilets with music in them, that does tend to help quite a lot.
Paruretics are sensitive to both the noise and visual exposure, which is why desensitisation has to look at both aspects, and is a gradual process in both areas.
Good luck with your progress and improvements.
Hi Derek, thanks for your reply! My main issue is definitely noise, or lack thereof in public toilets. Although I still can’t use the urinal when another is there but if I’ve already started and someone else comes in I’m fine.

How is your progress?
Mate progress is very good overall with familiar toilets and practice sessions, but have stalled a bit in some areas. (excuse the pun)
Local shopping centres, under practice conditions and heavily fluid loaded, normally can do this fairly routinely with few misfires.
A recent case in point, I had a Conference through work, ironically at a Hotel right next to the Sydney International Airport!
Conferences are fairly problematic, as you are there with work colleagues/ bosses and not actively fluid loading.
However, in the late afternoon/ evening, went over to Sydney International Airport with a water bottle for a very successful practice session, at numerous toilets with different bowl urinal configurations.
A couple have back to back walls, and this is very good to keep reinforcing success not in direct line of the other urinator, I like to do this ad nauseum during practice sessions, and suggest this setup is good for all to utilise, along with long L shaped troughs. (where I had my first successes)
This particular Sydney Airport scene is quite nostalgic, for many paruretics, this was the scene of our first workshop/s, back in the day when there used to be about 20 guys turn up and we would all head over to the Airport for practice.
This just shows that paruresis can be dramatically improved, but it is still a lifelong battle to fully be free of it.
If you can nail something like the breath-hold technique as well, this would also be extremely beneficial as a backup tool.

Re: My Experience With Paruresis

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:16 am
by Derek
onlyafool123 wrote:
Mon Oct 01, 2018 10:04 pm
I guess there are ways of relaxing. Either with medication, self talk as in what will happen if i don't go? nothing. Gradual exposure will lessen the anxiety of going. The other part is if a workmate knows youre in the cubicle not urinating what's the worst he could say? what are you doing in there.
Yep, the dreaded work colleague.
The only way is to keep reinforcing success outside of work, and hope this eventually translates to work success.
Easier said than done, but maybe have a quiet word with the workmate about the problem if you know him well enough, and are not compromising your position by telling him.
I should add that work is not an issue for me, as I have the most AP friendly set up in the world (not by choice I might add), with my own private lock up bathroom and toilet.