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Great Workshop Sydney 2016

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 7:40 am
by eric
Congratulations and thanks to John for a successful and enjoyable Paruresis workshop this March. A group of 5 participants, including myself, joined John at a hotel in Sydney, which proved to be a good venue, with many different toilet scenarios available at the hotel or nearby. I made some progress practising, but most importantly I learned some valuable information from the discussions led by John. The group got on well and there was some good sharing with the discussion being very open. John followed the format of previous years with just a discussion on Friday night, followed by a full day of practice and discussion sessions on Saturday. We finished at 11am on Sunday after one final practice session and debrief from John. I flew over from Perth, three guys flew up from Melbourne while one participant was already in Sydney. Cost of the workshop in Sydney was kept down, as John lives in Sydney and didn’t need to fly and stay at a hotel.

The gradual exposure technique worked for me and by the end of Saturday I was able to go at a 2 man urinal with another participant. I had not done that in years! I was quite pleased, but I realised that doing that next to a stranger outside the workshop would be a challenge to be tackled after a lot more practice and build up. In the workshop John taught us some techniques and attitudes so as not to be so worried about other people’s presence while we are at the toilet.

The other key thing we realised during the workshop was the importance of only going when you need to go, and not trying to go at first impulse, or using opportunity visits which can re-enforce an avoidance mindset. We also learnt that we don’t have to be challenging ourselves all the time, and sometimes prioritising comfort is the sensible thing to do.

The importance of urgency was brought forward to me when I misfired using the hotel room toilet with 2 participants standing at the open toilet door. I was only at an urgency of around 7, and it also might have been a too greater leap in difficulty from having the toilet door open and guys sitting down talking around the corner in the room. Throughout the workshop we saw how very high urgency helped some guys void in circumstances they thought would be too challenging. It became clear that urgency is a key ingredient in learning how to beat the problem.

I’d like to thank the guys who were all great in their support and contribution. John was great in organising the whole event, and getting the information to and from us in a very skilful and compassionate way. Thanks again John for sharing your knowledge and making sure it was received completely and unreservedly, we appreciate it.

Cheers,
Eric

Re: Great Workshop Sydney 2016

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 5:19 pm
by Clayton140
Great feedback Eric. It was really good to meet you and hang out at the airport waiting for our flights home.
I was really proud of how all the guys made some great progress and I would like to stress to all those who might be anxious or fearful of attending a workshop not to worry. I found that the nerves settled as soon as we all met and had a chat on the friday evening.
The weekend was an entirely positive experience.
Thanks to John and all the participants

Re: Great Workshop Sydney 2016

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:30 am
by eric
Cheers Clayton, it was a good yak and wind down.