Correct information & early help vital

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Wally
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:22 am

Correct information & early help vital

Post by Wally » Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:06 pm

I feel concerned for all those young people out there who for various reasons are just starting out on their paruresis journey,these boys & girls ( I didn't know until recently that woman suffered from paruresis ) need access to the best help & information as early as possible.I realise that the best time & way to stop a phobia is to face it early before it starts to get ingrained.I would also like to see information available making it crystal clear that boys don't have to pee at urinals & that it is very OK for boys to enjoy the privacy of the cubicle for all their toileting needs & to be made aware also that there are very many boys brought up from infancy to use only cubicles.Who says boys have got to do the tribal thing at the urinal anyway.Since when is it not OK for a bloke to expect & enjoy a bit of privacy when doing toilet stuff.Who cares what others might think,it's simply not anyone else's business.

Derek
Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:57 am
Location: Hunter Valley NSW
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Re: Correct information & early help vital

Post by Derek » Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:21 pm

Whilst I agree in theory to many of your assertions, one must still endeavour to improve to adapt to the society they live in, and that means practicing at reduced levels of privacy.
Once you can use urinals reliably in practice situations (fluid loaded and in known toilets), going back to cubicles is very easy and preferable in survival situations only. ( I don't care what others think in these situations).
I still have some trouble in certain situations (mainly travelling), but generally it is better to reinforce using a urinal whenever you can.

Wally
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:22 am

Re: Correct information & early help vital

Post by Wally » Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:28 pm

Thanks for your input Derek. I guess you realise that I'm keen to ensure that paruretic blokes know that it's OK & acceptable for them to pee in cubicles & to feel at ease about this matter. I was brought up to use urinals & I did so with great ease until the age of 8 when I had the misfortune of experiencing a severe trauma of a sexual nature, I no longer felt at ease peeing in public & I started avoiding group peeing.That was my first mistake, a phobia soon set in. My dad died around about the same time, I had no brothers, so I just bottled everything up. That was my second mistake. My life became a misery as I tried to hide my new problems from family & friends I felt ashamed & frightened. As I had been brought up to use urinals I went on to believe that it was unacceptable for blokes to pee in cubicles.This was my third mistake . I see now that this was very,very wrong thinking, although at the time I knew no better. I now found that public toilets were a no go zone for me except in extreme emergencies, I Iearned to drink very little when out & used to go all day at school without peeing,life was almost unbearable. I believed that I was the only one with this problem until my mid 40's when a work mate mentioned that he had been brought up to use cubicles for all his toileting needs & he felt totally comfortable doing so.This was a massive revelation to me & greatly freeing. I just want others to know this info incase they have fallen into the same wrong thinking that I did. I would still like to get back to using urinals again,not sure if it will happen with me, I'll have to see how I go in the courage dept. All the best to you Derek I hope you continue to make good progress.

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