Survival Skills for People with Paruresis

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rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Survival Skills for People with Paruresis

Post by rossco309 » Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:36 pm

Anyone who has suffered with paruresis for any length of time has developed ‘survival skills’ to help them cope in life. This might mean simple things like leaving a party with an excuse to go home to get something you forgot (and of course have a pee while at home).
Some of the ones I found helpful during my working career :-
• I’d always look out for a quieter toilet, rather than use the busier ones in my building.
• Or, if necessary, use a quiet toilet in another building nearby.
• Pretend to have an urgent mobile phone call/text to attend to while at a conference type of meeting. ie. slip out while the toilets were quiet with everyone still in the conference.
• Slip out to use the toilets at shows/theatre before the interval rush/ or wait until the rush was over.
• For 44 years I would always have to use a stall with the door locked. I’d sit down and use a form of self hypnosis, by focusing my eyes on one spot on the floor, and deep breathing relaxation until I would finally pee. (I developed & taught myself this technique while helping my wife through our four children’s childbirth delivery. She delivered them by being trained in the “Lamaze” method of childbirth, and needed no anesthetics or pain killers, just training in breathing exercises, and pain management techniques.)

Now I am well and truly into recovery I have found that I no longer need to use these methods. But if I occasionally get myself into a too difficult situation, I can always fall back into the old recovery mode if necessary.

Can you add to this list? What sort of survival skills have others found helpful during their lives with paruresis?

Derek
Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:57 am
Location: Hunter Valley NSW
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Re: Survival Skills for People with Paruresis

Post by Derek » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:41 pm

Most of these I have used in the past Rossco, and still occasionally now -eg Conferences or travelling etc, whereby active fluid loading may be impractical, and/or you are with work and professional colleagues.
Let's not forget the good old fluid restrictions.
Since my paruesis started in about 4th class in Primary School, by the time I got to High School, absolute abstinence from fluids during the day was always employed.
I virtually never used the school toilets for about 9 years of school, which horrified my mother when I told her the scope of my problem a few years ago. (Many women often are horrified by male public toilets anyway -with comments such as ""how could they use that trough"" I have heard mentioned.)
Upon reflections about severely restricting fluid intake, this just shows that there this is a genuine dangerous side to paruresis - dehydration, as well as fluid retention and a burst bladder - which makes paruesis one of the most insidious and malevolant disorders, as well as soul-destroying, that there is.
At University I tended to seek out very quiet bathrooms, often at the opposite corner of the uni to where I was being lectured. There were also unisex lockable toilets on the higher levels of Fisher Library, which I frequently used and hence did most of my constructive studies there.
Pretending to have bad diarrhoea was another reason for taking extra long in public toilets when out with the family when years ago.
Ironically now at work I have my own lockable bathroom and toilet, which I do not share with anyone = my main concern now is leaving all the doors open!

aokpops
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:27 pm

Re: Survival Skills for People with Paruresis

Post by aokpops » Mon Dec 26, 2011 7:02 pm

And there should be given thanks to the media for all there no help .

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