Finding a pee buddy – a new lease of life

Ask questions about Paruresis, tell your story, talk about it!
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chas
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:50 am
Location: Toowoomba

Finding a pee buddy – a new lease of life

Post by chas » Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:55 pm

After a request by email, I finally got up the courage to make face to face contact with a potential pee buddy I had been corresponding with for a number of years. I am glad I did. First obstacle, was to change my name – I had been using an alias on the Australian board but had given my town.

It was a liberating experience sharing our story. I now look forward to each week.

It has been over a month since our first weekly morning session. During that time a third guy has joined our 'group'.

My wife knows of my shy bladder and I explained to her why I would be disappearing each Wednesday morning for a few hours. Thankfully she was understanding but I am not quite sure if she actually 'understands' the problem. In a small city you never know who you will run into at a shopping centre. As happened one morning, a female family friend saw me and wondered if I was waiting for my wife outside the Coffee Club. I said I was meeting a guy, but I declined to explain exactly why I was there. At this stage, it may have been 'too much information'.

I also made contact with 'Rossco309' in Sydney and plan to meet up with him when I am down there in late January. My phone call to him one Saturday morning was satisfying. I know that I am not alone with paruresis, but it has been lonely not having someone to talk it over with.

At 59, it is getting a bit old for a new lease of life and new challenges, but at least I can enjoy what I already do.

Chas

Derek
Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:57 am
Location: Hunter Valley NSW
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Re: Finding a pee buddy – a new lease of life

Post by Derek » Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:56 am

G'day Chas, great you have found a pee buddy to practice with - you can make very good inroads from this more than anything.
Don't expect your wife to "get it", mine never did or has. Don't let that faze you.
I understand you worrying about people recognising you in public, in a small city, but it is all part of the paruretic syndrome.
I live in Maitland NSW, a similar size small city to Toowoomba, but can head into Newcastle at any time where I am completely anonymous (as well as more public toilet options - which are pretty old world and stock standard in my local area - ie troughs or troughs on grills - with one L-shaped one the only variation from the same theme).
Sometimes you are better off getting out of your comfort zone to practice, however going to a venue that you are familiar with and practice several times there is often a good idea - before going into totally unfamiliar territory.
In Sydney for instance, my old man lives near Westfield Miranda - which I have also practiced with Rossco a couple of times there, as well as solo.
These big shopping centres normally offer plenty of variety, and disabled toilets can be used as a back-up plan if you get into trouble.
Strangley the old man also had the problem for a few years in his late teens - early twenties - but has no interest in the issue now, so have never involved him.
Hopefully a Brisbane group will also be up and running in the near future.

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