Travel to Europe

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jeremy
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:57 pm

Travel to Europe

Post by jeremy » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:58 pm

It's been a while folks but I'm still around and generally surviving. Just a post that I made to the US forums but will also post a copy here:

Well it's not overly long to plan for, though I am leaving on an overseas trip towards the end of September or early October. Though have yet to purchase an airfare just yet. Though wondering if I can have some ideas for the best survival strategy, particularly for the long haul flight. I am travelling from Melbourne to Munich, possibly via London Heathrow. So the longest leg may be up to 23-24 hours. Certainly too long to hold on! Not sure how these international flights work out and whether they just land them in an airport, fuel up and take off, or if they let passengers get off for a few hours? In that case 12-13 hours is a bit long to hold on but has been done before.

Though so far I've had no luck peeing on planes and trains. I have a trip to New Zealand in the mean time which should at least provide some indication. I did once get a nurse to show me how to use a catheter though haven't used one since; that was two years ago. So I guess I should practise how how to use one first, though probably after I return from New Zealand as I won't *really* need one there (nice short flight and I'm sure it won't be too busy where I'll be going). Though given it's been so long, should I get a nurse to show me again or just read the instructions carefully? It didn't seem like an overly complex task, though I did get some stinging for a few days longer so think it may have scraped the side of the urethra a bit. So maybe a softer catheter would be better? The nurse in question told me to never reuse a catheter in public, though that seems contrary to advice given here (even if there is an element of 'do so at your own risk'). Though what have others found works best here? (Posting to this forum because it's a little more than just catheters).

Other than that, what have people's experiences have been like in Europe and particularly Germany and Austria? I generally get by in the cubicle and sometimes the disabled loo, depending on how crowded things are, etc. Also thinking of going to Oktoberfest, depending on the date I can get my flight. Would normally avoid crowded places like that namely because of paruresis, though read somewhere that they have problems with people using mobile phones in some of the toilets because it's quieter there. Though perhaps a catheter would still be good as a backup?

Thanks,

Jeremy

Bruce
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 2:24 pm

Re: Travel to Europe

Post by Bruce » Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:01 pm

Hello Jeremy,
My advice when travelling on planes is to go for an aisle seat. I'd prefer a window seat because I like looking out the window but an aisle seat gives you plenty of freedome to get up whenever you like without having to disturb anyone. eg if you think that most people on the plane are asleep at night time then off you go. If you have a 'failure' no problem you can always go back later.

When the hostesses are serving meals and the aisle is blocked by their trolley you may get an opportunity to slip off to the toilet knowing that others don't have access because of the trolley and the rest of the passengers are eagerly awaiting their meals.

You can always get up out of your seat pretending that you need to stretch your legs (you don't want to get deep veined thrombosis!) and stand around for a while then sneak off to the toilet when there is no one waiting.

I remember travelling on a 3 hour flight to Perth once and I had a window seat. I went off to the toilet but I knew I was in trouble when I looked back and this couple remained standing waiting for me to return! So no success that time and since then I've gone for an aisle seat on long flights.
Bruce

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: Travel to Europe

Post by rossco309 » Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:30 am

HI Jeremy,
I had medium to severe paruresis for over 44 years until I started down the recovery road about 4 years ago.

During the years I, like most people with paruresis, had developed various survival skills. One of these was a form of self-hypnosis. I would sit down in a cubicle (even in an airplane toilet), focus my eyes on a spot on the floor or wall, and use deep controlled breathing to relax myself enough to be able to eventually urinate. I would tell myself that it was OK to pee, and go over this in my mind until I eventually did empty out.
At one stage about 7 years ago, and before I found out all about paruresis, I had a 19 hour flight with work from Sydney to Buenos Aires in Argentina, including a 1 /12 hr stopover, in Auckland airport . I was petrified as to how I would manage the long haul flight, plus I was travelling with a work colleague, who I knew well, but who didn’t know I had a problem.
I chose an aisle seat and would go to the middle of the plane where there were a bank of about 3 toilets together (it was an Airbus A340), usually when it was quiet, but also knowing that if there was a queue, there would be other toilets available if I took a long time to go. This survival method worked for me. Plus I also had a small amount of valium to also help relax me, if I needed it.
I also found that at the airports it was easy to have my work colleague mind my cases while I went to the toilet and then I’d mind his while he went. This strategy work well on the trip as well, and apart from the usual AP hang-ups, and excessive worry, I was able to enjoy my 2 ½ weeks working, and travelling in Argentina.

If it was to happen now, because I am well down the recovery road, I would be telling my work mate all about it before I left Sydney. Plus now I can normally go in a urinal with not too much trouble, and have since flown to NZ and back, and been able to urinate at the airport, and in airplane toilets without any real problems. I now make sure I drink plenty of water and other drinks while flying, this usually means that I have to use the toilet while on a 3 hr or longer flight.

I hope your trip goes well for you. Remember that our mind plays big tricks on us, especially the excessive worry about what might happen. It usually doesn’t !!

jeremy
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: Travel to Europe

Post by jeremy » Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:35 pm

Rossco asked me to report back on my travels so here goes. It's actually been a long time since I left; I stayed in Europe for four months and I've only been back two weeks now. In my case, I think it was vital to have some catheters, though I only actually used them a total of five times in the entire four months.

So going over I had no problem in Melb or Syd Airports. Then waited until Bangkok which wasn't so successful because of limited time and the place was just so incredibly busy. It's quite a long flight from Sydney to Bangkok so by the time the plane took off again I was busting to go. That ended up being the first time I used the catheter, then later that night I was able to go again without the cath while the lights were dimmed and most people were sleeping. London Heathrow and Munich were also no problem. Though I was never really expecting airports to be such a problem, especially if there's time to resort to disabled toilets, etc. (I'll also avoid taking such a long route to Germany again, if only because it's a pain going through security so many times though I didn't actually intend to go via Sydney; the travel agents messed me up a bit there).

Once I arrived in Germany I was staying with friends in the country side. They had two large comfortable bathrooms so no problem there. Oktoberfest was a bit more of an issue. Oktoberfest was a little more difficult with the crowds so we ended up leaving the area and hunted for some dark corner; easier said than done as there just don't seem to be as many lane ways as Australian cities, but we found somewhere (my friend was aware of my problem so he didn't mind). A week later I set off for Paris and had no trouble with the WC places at railway stations, you have to pay though often you find the cubicles offer a little more privacy than the typical Australian public toilets. I also found in European cities public toilets can be quite rare as a stand alone entity and you have to go into a department store like Galleria (where the staff still expect a tip) or if you're really lucky you might find a small shopping centre and without anyone hassling you for money. I stayed in a lot of hotels from this point so it predominantly wasn't a problem. I also stayed in a hostel in Geneva that wasn't a problem.

When I returned to Germany I spent a further four weeks staying with my friend's family again and studied at the Volkshochschule (TAFE like institution) in a nearby city. Again no problems there. I guess things did get more tense on a few occasions towards the end of my journey. Most of the time it was visiting cities such as Stuttgart and not finding it so easy to find toilets, then feeling nervous when I finally found one. I also did a study tour organised through my university in Melbourne and found there was no problem at the host university, there were plenty of toilets, though some of the field trips were a little more difficult. I was also sharing a hotel room with another student and found that difficult at times as well.

Flying home I ended up being re-routed from London to Melbourne via Hong Kong as my plane was delayed in Munich due to snow. So peed a few times on the plane between London and Hongkong, which was quite easy while the lights were dimmed. Didn't have so much luck from Hong Kong to Melbourne though, despite requesting an isle seat I got a window seat. Luckily it was only a two seater though, so just waited for the other guy to come back from the toilet and went after him. These kind of changes probably also demonstrate why you shouldn't reply on getting an isle seat and always have a cath as a backup option. One thing about using the cath, is that I think it probably has made it easier in similar situations afterwards, yet many professionals seem to have the opposite view that paruretics will become dependent on it.

So while this isn't everything, hope that helps.

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: Travel to Europe

Post by rossco309 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:58 pm

Hi Jeremy,

Thanks for this detailed report on your trip. I'm glad it worked out went well with your paruresis issues, and you obviously had a great time away, with only minor problems, for the 4 months.

As someone about to travel to England, Scotland & Ireland for 6 1/2 weeks, it's great to read of other paruresis sufferers experiences while o/seas, and while travelling on planes etc..

Thanks again, Ross.

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