introduction

Ask questions about Paruresis, tell your story, talk about it!
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gottago
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:12 am

introduction

Post by gottago » Sun May 17, 2009 4:15 pm

hi ihave had this problem for as long as i can remember my problem started when i was in my last years of primary school.I was a bed wetter and my grandfather could not handle it. So every night i had to stay at my grandparents my grandfather would stand behind me at the toilet and make me go i couldnt go under pressure and he would get very angry with me i wouldnt say he was a bad person but i would get blasted by him for not being able to pee so what was once a normal thing from then on scared the crap out of me.my wife is understanding which helps but basicly as you would all know yourselves i have had to give up a lot over the years.im glad i have found this site and im am looking forward to going forward and trying to beat this i am fine with cubicles but i would not attempt a urinal as i have tried before and only left myself upset and embarrassed i live a couple of hours out of melbourne and i am keen to make it to the next seminar cheers scotty
Last edited by gottago on Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JohnW
Site Admin
Posts: 97
Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:42 pm

Re: introduction

Post by JohnW » Tue May 19, 2009 7:30 pm

Welcome to our Message Board!
We all may have differing stories on how our Paruresis started, but the ongoing effect on our lives is fairly similar for all of us, at least until we move into recovery.
You may like to contact George, who runs the Melbourne Support Group. His email is antipodes7@yahoo.com.au
There may be regular events you can get to.
Melbourne had a workshop earlier this year, so there won't be another one till early 2011 (Sydney will be next year).
JohnW

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: introduction

Post by rossco309 » Thu May 21, 2009 8:45 am

Hi Scott,

Welcome to this PAA chat site. You have made the first step in recovery from this social anxiety disorder.

I developed my AP early in my teen years, mainly through bullying at school urinals. It controlled my thinking and peeing for almost 45 years of my life before I stumbled across the IPA web site. I like you could only go in cubicles, only by sitting down and relaxing, and only if the toilets were quiet, and not too busy etc.. I bought the book "Shy Bladder Syndrome" by Steven Soifer (I recommend you read this book as well, It may be in your local library, or they may get a copy in for you). I also have a very understanding wife, who I told about my problem before we married in 1969. I was able to use her as my first pee-buddy when I started down the recovery road. I have since attended workshops in Sydney and made tremendous improvement.

As John has suggested, if you want to, make contact with the Melbourne support group. They will be able to assist you as you seek recovery. It takes time and plenty of practice but it's well worth it.

Regards, Ross (Sydney Support Group)

Derek
Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:57 am
Location: Hunter Valley NSW
Contact:

Re: introduction

Post by Derek » Fri May 22, 2009 11:54 pm

gottago,
My paruresis started at a similar time to you, ie in the 2nd half of Primary School.
Not sure why it started - change of school etc, but there is not point in getting bogged down trying to analyse "why it started", which is a trap for young players in the paruretic sense.
Where and when it started does not change the fact that, as Rossco stated, one can improve tremendously.
Once you have made gains, you generally never ever regress to where you were before.
You may never be "cured" per se, but one can reduce the control AP exerts and live a much more enjoyable life, and learn how to cope with situations, while slowly but surely gaining confidence in certain situations.
All the best for your recovery efforts,
Derek

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