It's Time

Ask questions about Paruresis, tell your story, talk about it!
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seaside1
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:37 am

It's Time

Post by seaside1 » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:51 pm

Hi all, Paul here. I have been researching Paruresis via Internet sites such as this for some weeks in the hope that I could somehow find a 'trick' to end 40+ years of anxiety and acute stress when needing to empty the bladder. What has driven things to a head is the worsening of this situation so that now i,m lucky to be able to go at work in a single locked cubicle. As I have recently moved now live about a 2hr drive from work I feel the added pressure of having to go before leaving work is creating acute anxiety and occupies the mind all day long. I can go if all other workers have left but not if someone is around. Anyway, this morning I opened up for the first time about my problem with the wife and had a doctors appointment. Tomorrow it is blood tests and a renal ultrasound. I'm worried now about being able to empty the bladder after the first test. !! Can anyone offer suggestions on where to from here assuming the medical tests are ok. I really don't think a pee-buddy would work as I have always been very shy by nature.

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by rossco309 » Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:10 pm

Hi Paul,

I like you had paruresis for over 40 years before I found out the name for it. It is good that you have told your wife and are being checked out medically before you start in recovery.

As a beginning I suggest you read 'Shy Bladder Syndrome' by Steven Soifer ( it may be available from your local library, or you can order it online from > http://www.booktopia.com.au/ - $22.40 atm ). It will help you understand why people develop paruresis and what you can do to recover from it.

Depending where you live, it will be helpful if you can meet up with others sufferers. Many find that even just to talk with others over a cup of coffee is a big help.

I also was able to get some CBT from a Psychologist which helped me to change my negative thinking patterns about urinating in public toilets.

Ross ( Sydney Support Group)

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by rossco309 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:24 pm

Hi Paul, and other readers....I have just found another site where you can buy a copy of "Shy Bladder Syndrome" for $19.24 AU - Free delivery!.

http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Shy-Bla ... 1572242272

While I have never purchased anything from these worldwide book sellers, my family has and recommends them. It will take about 7 to 10 days to be delivered.

Paul, let us know how you went with the medical tests?

Regards, Ross.

seaside1
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:37 am

Re: It's Time

Post by seaside1 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:40 pm

Ross,
Thanks for your interest. The medical tests were all OK so that eliminates the physical side. The doctor suggested hypnosis for the mental side. I have now had 2 sessions with 1 to go. After 2 sessions I have noticed no improvement and maybe a little more anxiety in the 'friendly' cubicle environment. I have alerted the hypnotherapist of this situation and we will discuss it further next week. I have held off the purchase of the recommended book as I think this could add to information overload whilst the hypnotherapy takes place. But if no success I will certainly try this approach next.

Regards,
Paul.

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by rossco309 » Wed Oct 26, 2011 2:56 pm

Hi Paul,

I'm glad you received good results from your medical check up. While I have never tried hypnosis to overcome my paruresis, the IPA website seems to indicate that it will be little or no help, sorry.

The best method seems to be Graduated Exposure practice combined with some CBT from a psychologist. (This is what has helped me tremendously).

Others have found that a form of "breath hold" works for them (again you can read a lot about this method on the IPA web site)

For a brief read on the subject go to the VIC Gov Health web page > http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv ... enDocument

Regards, Ross (Sydney Paruresis Support Group)

aokpops
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:27 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by aokpops » Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:03 pm

Hi Paul . I have had this for about 40 years to . And it is time to be able to get some help . Been working with breath hold . And it will get you over the hump . Read an pratice . Don't try it once an give up . There is some youtube videos .Work with this about a year now . Every chance you get challenge yourself . Don't dive in the deep end . At home leave the doors open . got company don't latch them . Do what you can

seaside1
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:37 am

Re: It's Time

Post by seaside1 » Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:48 pm

Aokpops. Thanks for your advice. I'll try anything as I feel I'm going backwards. Tried hypnotherapy, reading the Shy Bladder Syndrome book, and little challenges. The doctor even put me on anti-depressant pills to stop panic attacks. I have since gone off these, as they were not working. I'm now getting stage fright in my own home with the wife around. Can it get any worse......Thanks again.

rossco309
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:18 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by rossco309 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:16 pm

Hi Paul,

glad to hear you have been reading the Shy Bladder Syndrome book. A lot of people find that when you first find out the name to your problem, and start reading up about how it occurred, and what you can do to overcome it, that things seem to get worse for awhile. This is normal and will only be for a short time.

I had exactly the same problem as you when I first stumbled across the IPA web site.

As your wife now knows about your problem, I suggest you let her read some of the book (if she wants to). Then use her as your first 'pee-buddy'. ie have her stand just outside the closed bathroom door to start. Then work up from there following the instructions in the book. Eventually she should be able to stand right behind you !!! but this may time time. Don't worry. Just start one small step at a time.

I hope you can make good improvements down the recovery road in 2012.

Ross.

onlyafool
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 5:58 pm

Re: It's Time

Post by onlyafool » Sat May 05, 2012 6:37 pm

goodluck with it all i find it hard to find somewhere good to work

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